By Souls of Silver
It does not take much for us to get upset with someone, however, how can we deal with the hurt? Should you resort to a carefully planned revenge or take a more compassionate approach?
When someone gets hurt, some issues happen that are very important. Firstly, the fact that being hurt does not feel nice. The immediate impulse is to strike back at the one who has hurt you. You must keep in mind that this is natural. The cause is that by hurting you, someone is trampling all over you and disrespecting you. However, the potential consequences hold you back from acting on impulse.
But revenge is never the answer. Here are some points that can help you understand it.
The Harm In Revenge
Lasing out is not as easy as it sounds. Acting on anger has some serious consequences.
- Often, after retaliating, you might feel satisfied but it is very short-lived. Also, you do not feel better after doing it because you will only be bringing yourself down by the action.
- When you retaliate after getting hurt, chances are your anger will have the same effect on the person you are targeting. The relationship between you may worsen and think that it is the other person’s fault. Remember though that just as you cannot clap with one hand, you are being equally at fault by lashing out. At the same time, you might feel that you do not want to be related to anyone who has hurt you but anger is never a good decision-maker.
- We usually retaliate because we are angry and afraid. It is usually not a calm and collected decision that is taken after thinking about the situation and the consequences. This is natural but this can lead to developing harmful habits like getting addicted to games and TV, procrastination, distraction, and overeating. So it is more helpful to pause and take a breath. Fuming in anger does not get you anywhere.
- Moreover, people are not going to increase their respect for you if you lash out in anger. Keeping control over your temper and being compassionate is usually the trait that people look up to.
- At the end of the day, lashing out is a sign of losing the bigger self within you. Being more compassionate and forgiving are the guidelines by which we should face these situations.
Being Compassionate Is The Answer
So if revenge is so bad then what can we do? Being compassionate lets you be the better self, feel better, earn respect, and most importantly, you help the world out in your little way. But how can you do it?
The first step is to pause and not act on an impulse, take a deep breath and assess the situation calmly. Then try to focus on the part of your body that hurts, be it the heart or mind, and attend to it instead of getting stuck in your head. It always helps to take notice of the other party’s situation and try to understand it.
After assessing the situation and gathering all the facts, think about what courses of action you can take. The most compassionate decision can be anything from ending the relationship to listening to them. Keep in mind you should avoid trying to hurt the other person because of anger. Finally, decide your course of action using compassion and love in your heart.
Of course, this is much easier said than done. Revenge is usually easier to commit to, but compassion will make the wider world a happier place.