By Souls Of Silver
Most often we will find sparks of gaslighting in personal relationships. This is often a technique used by narcissists to get their own way in relationships. In this article, we are going to look at some of the reasons why gaslighting works as such an efficient manipulative tool. Read through it to know which signs to consider as red flags.
There are numerous ways in which partners take the help of gaslighting. The basic groundwork of a relationship is honesty. And if there is anything that can shake this groundwork, it is gaslighting.
In simple terms, gaslighting is lying. It is a type of psychological manipulation in which a person covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual, making them question their own perception, memory, or judgment. The major problem with this technique is that you might not even recognize its presence. If done properly, gaslighting cannot be identified. This puts relationships in serious danger. Now let’s delve into some of the reasons why this technique is manipulation at its best.
1: Gaslighting Steals Our Experience And Observation
Our judgments, opinions, and beliefs are based on the information that we gather from the world around us. We observe, assess, and then form perceptions. But imagine this entire process being invalidated. That is what gaslighting does. It makes you doubt your logic, perceptions, and judgments.
Sometimes, it is crucial to keep an open mind and not be rigid in our judgments. But gaslighting is completely different. It steals your senses and your ability to see and know things for yourself.
2: The Gaslighter Knows Best
Yes! That is what your gaslighter might trick you into believing. In clinical terms, this process is psychological or mental abuse. If you are seeing that your partner always invalidates your point and instead wants to make you believe what he/she thinks is the ‘ultimate truth,’ then it is time you consider it a red flag. Every one of us looks for a support system in our relationships. Therefore, this is the easiest and the most effective way to beguile you.
3: Distorted ‘Reality’
Putting you into a state of confusion is the first phase. You will never have clarity on issues, be it fights, opinions, behaviors, and so on. To give you a simple example, you might have noticed that some partners are talented enough to put the blame on you even when they are at fault. Suppose your partner has cheated on you. The first flag of gaslighting will be if they make you believe that it hasn’t happened. The next round is to turn the blame on you or make you rethink the very premise of your complaint.
4: Confusion, Confusion, Confusion
There’s confusion at the end of every road. You never have clarity on what the other person thinks or believes. This shakes the ground of even the strongest of relationships. Complete transparency and honesty are the best way forward. But gaslighting takes away the trust and puts you in a haze from which it is difficult to recover. So, take action before it gets out of hand.
5: Words Versus Actions
Your partner might be very good at conjuring words that might make you rethink their actions. But this is exactly where the problem lies. Gaslighting is generally a problem for narcissistic individuals. They tend to go to extreme levels to keep the balance intact on the outside. So, always remember to match the words with the actions.
6: Gaslighting Is Abusive
This tool of manipulation is punishing and abusive to a great extent. It makes the victim feel like they are going crazy or insane. Even when they get out of such relationships, these past memories of being gaslighted becomes a scar that is difficult to remove as your core inner self has been shaken.
Look out for such signs in your partner and let us know if you found this useful.