By Souls of Silver
Many reasons can make us feel like we are never enough. It can be because people we know keep telling us so. Or, maybe we let ourselves believe the lie.
Our future is always fascinatingly marked by our past. Our experiences affect how we act towards ourselves and those around us. If you do not know it is happening, and do not forget about it, the past will keep showing up.
For many of us, parents being very judgemental is something we are familiar with. As we became adults, we realized they only intended the best for us. However, this also results in us constantly needing a place where they, and anyone else we meet, will accept us.
A fairly common memory is when we got scolded because of a bad grade. When we were children, we do not understand why a C grade gets us scolding. So it scares us and devastates us. So we start trying to be better – not to learn better or do the thing better, but to avoid being scolded. This is one of the earliest examples where we learn how to please others. We learn this lesion simply because it would cause us to pain otherwise.
How Do You Stop Feeling Never Enough?
After this first lesson at home, we step out and meet new people outside, at school, etc. When you were a child, you may have felt like you do not get along with your neighborhood children. However, you met them everywhere, you played together, went to school together, and saw them every day. So you called them your friends.
However, you could never get over the gap you felt when you were with them. You felt fortunate that they were at least playing with you, even if you did not feel like belonging there. Thus, you carried on playing with them and smiling, believing that you were having fun.
Most importantly, you smiled and accepted their criticisms and mockery as well, because of this thought. This is the feeling of wanting people to accept us. We wanted companionship even if we knew in our hearts that such friends are never enough.
This can lead to extremely low self-esteem in your adult years. This need for approval and acceptance can also make you destroy yourself.
However, the truth is the person who loves you the most is yourself. As for parents, we do not get to choose them. Moreover, raising children is perhaps the most difficult job in the world. So they can only try their best.
For everyone else you meet, remember that you can live without them as long as you do not lose sight of yourself. Your feelings and your approval for yourself are the keys to stop feeling never enough.
Discarding The Feeling Will Change Your Life
Once you realize that you are enough, your life will see a drastic change. Love yourself and you will come to realize so many good points about yourself. You will see that you have many things to give. Moreover, you can start forgiving those around you.
Forgiveness is a very large emotion. It requires time and patience. However, you will notice the change when you start forgiving. Start by forgiving those around you who you resented. Then, most importantly, forgive yourself for silently accepting the hurt.
You have to do this daily. Soon, you will sense be freed of the emotion of never enough, and you can be free to your true self.
The past cannot be changed. However, you can learn from it, accept it, and head into the future. Be free and do not believe the lie of being never enough.