We harbor bitter indignation if we feel that we have been treated unfairly. Eventually, it leads to resentment. It evokes negative feelings of disgust, bitterness, and over time, anger and hatred. By letting resentment fester in your soul, you eventually hand over the control to these drops of poison.
Resentment is often long drawn and festers in your soul. It rises from a real or perceived injustice or frustration. And it keeps corroding you because either you have no control over the source, or choose not to deal with it.
But there are ways that you can deal with them and stop them from overwhelming you.
Being Stuck In A One-Sided Relationship
Harboring resentment strongly indicates that you are in a one-way street of friendship or relationship. You pour out your heart and soul and find that you are up against a wall that doesn’t respond or reciprocate. It is a sure-fire way to build it up.
The feeling that you are being used to grows over time and stays inside. It eventually leads to anger and hatred.
The Feeling Of Being Ignored Causes Resentment
There will always be people in your life who would be willing to ignore you and belittle your accomplishments. The feeling of worthlessness in somebody’s eyes causes resentment to build up in you.
But be assured that the only person who deserves a place in your life is someone who has never let you feel that you were just an option in their life. Being preferably unheard in someone’s life will cause resentment over time. Learn to break free.
Letting Conflicts Stay Unresolved
Resentment builds up over time. And unlike anger that builds up instantly and cools down over time, resentment continues to stay and takes control over you continuously. Getting back to the same issue might lead to resentment on either side. A matter as simple as dividing the chores of a house leads to resentment if any one party to it feels that there is a lop-sided division of work.
Read: Getting A Rein On Your Negative Feelings: Set Personal Boundaries
You start feeling frustrated after repeated attempts at resolving the issues fail. The constant repetition of this frustrating cycle leads to frustration, and you grow hopeless of any resolution in the future.
Some People Are Born To Hurt Others
Words can at times hurt more deeply than weapons and the wounds stay longer. And being the butt of ridicule and insults is sure to cause resentment rather quickly. And the hurt is deeper if the person attacking you is someone whom you consider close.
Dealing With Resentment
There might be various reasons for resentment to build up inside you but it is for you to not allow it to linger and fester inside you. Deal with it immediately. Do not allow it to build up to an extent that it starts to impede your well-being and relationship.
Be honest to yourself and upfront with the person who is the cause of your resentment. Denial only worsens the situation.
There is no getting over resentment, shoving it under the rug never resolved anything. Give a free run to your emotions.
Take time off to ponder and pin down the source. At times we are unable to determine the cause of it and suffer from a general feeling of resentment towards everything.
Read: Overcome Jealousy And Avoid The Inevitable Pain
Do not keep things bottled within you. Share your feelings with your close ones, even with someone who may be the source of your resentment. Communication helps to resolve much.
Take professional help or the aid of someone who can give an honest appraisal of the situation.
And finally, remember that the person most affected by clinging on is you. It kills you silently while the person who is causing it might remain blissfully unaware. At every step, we are given a choice in life. You can either choose to accept all that is good and bright in it. Or you can opt to cling to pain, anger, and resentment all your life. The choice is yours.
