By Souls of Silver
There are many romantic experiences that people feel over a period of time. We fall in love, we experience breakups, we experience the stability of love, and we also engage in one-sided romances. There are many facets of loving someone. And it is quite important to differentiate between all of them – while they might be closely associated with each other, they are quite far apart. Falling in love is sometimes mistaken to ‘be in love’. And that is just harmful.
The word ‘fall’ is used appropriately. Yes, it is almost like a fall – like when you go down the road, trip, and fall. But then, eventually you rise and you actually ‘fall out of love’ too. That’s because when we are falling in love, we have our ego attached to it. When we fall in love, we engage in small things of love – the intimacy, the infatuations, and even the thrill. It may lead to destructive relationships too. When ego drives us towards a relationship, then we are only in a relationship because it makes us feel good.
But then ego stops working and we are no longer satisfied. It ends with falling out of love. We don’t admire each other anymore, we don’t feel like the other person is required in our lives and we rise up. We are no longer in love.
Loving and falling in love seem similar at first, but when you love someone, then that euphoric pleasure doesn’t go away. Loving someone has nothing to do with ego. It has nothing to do with rising or falling. It is just a stable state of… love.
It’s difficult for people to put ego aside. Hence, such love is very rare. You may have heard people say ‘I cannot live without you.’ But when you are truly in love, then we do not say that. You can live with or without the other person. When you have love, it will transcend space and time. You can be happy on your own. After all, your ego is no longer controlling you. There is no need for revenge or grudges. Love is like the instinct of motherhood. There is no need to force someone or to compromise. It will just come to you as a genuine feeling.
Loving gives us a sense of security. It brings the better version of us out there. Love is also like becoming children again. You focus on experiences rather than on thoughts. You don’t mind what happened in the past or what will happen in the future. Time, date, calendars, all lose their meaning. Every day becomes a day of utmost euphoria.
Yes, you want to stay with that person who is in love with you. You are curious to get to know more about them and experience the feeling of love. But their absence does not make the feeling go away. You can still find them somewhere in your heart, in your memory – in the experiences that you had once shared. Voices may tell you to leave, but you do not leave – you choose not to go away.
Love is about trust and faith. It’s a leap, knowing that you will not be falling. You will be stuck in a stable state of love. You have to believe in it.
If you like this difference between falling in love and being in love, then share it with your friends and show them the different kinds of love.